Well, the time has finally arrived, and not a moment too soon (or too late). This week I take a modest stab at reviewing David Robert Mitchell’s fantastic and flirty feature: It Follows. It’s safe to say that so far all opinions have been super favorable. Some claim it’s the scariest movie this year, while others even say it’s the scariest film in decades. One thing is for certain. No matter how you look at it, this movie will stick with you for well longer than you’d care to admit.
Right from the start, I was mesmerized by all the usual suspects: gorgeous cinematography, a fantastic and suspense-building soundtrack, and….death. Yep, all of that within moments of the opening credits. Though filmed in Michigan, the neighborhood we’re introduced to took me right back to Haddonfield, and the music and camerawork were very reminiscent of the same era of genre films that we have all come to love and adore. I’ve never claimed to be able to adequately express how or why I enjoy a film, and It Follows was no exception. I mean I can be vague and say “Oooh I loved the music!” or “Wow it looks just like an old school horror film” but if you’re reading this expecting me to wax poetic and bedazzle your horror loins with words I have to LMGTFY, then you should probably stop reading now.
Let’s dive in. It Follows...well, follows a young girl and her small group of close friends as they try to outrun the outrunable. What might that be, you ask? Well, sex of course. Duh. Our main girl Jay (played by Maika Monroe) decides to make whoopee with a boy, and from there on out, all hell breaks loose. She’s going to have to pay for her sins one way or another, and all she can do is rely on her friends to help her at every turn defeat this lurking presence.
Simple enough plot I’d say, but what makes this an absolutely innovative and electrifying film on such a different level is the manner in which sex plays its part. In about ALL of the horror films I’ve ever seen, any couple having sex doesn’t make it after they make it. That’s it. Nothing transpires much past the showering off afterwards, and that’s being lenient. Horror movie + teens + sex = instant death and/or dismemberment. There is no variable. Above all, what I applaud It Follows for is the constant barrage of post-coital terror and anticipation of demise that carries on throughout the entire course of the movie, not just the repetitive post-ejaculatory barbarianism to which we are all so accustomed. This has definitely transformed the role of sex in the modern horror film henceforth. Sex got a horror movie makeover from Mr. Mitchell, and from now on it’s going to be an uppity bitch about it.
Every minute, every line, every subtle nuance, and every terrifying scene of this film 100% supports the effectiveness and raw believability of this new take on an age-old concept. There is no loose skin and there is no Dog & Pony show. You catch it by fucking. You get rid of it by fucking. It’s a vicious fuck-cycle. Circle circle, dot dot, THIS was the personification of a goddamned cootie shot.
7.5 sex-drenched cleavers. Don’t hesitate. Go watch this film as soon as you’re able. I can say no more.