I don't even know where to begin with this one. I think from now on I'll actually include a quick premise for your benefit. This movie is about a mentally unstable girl who gets a tattoo and the tattoo begins taking over her mind and actions. There ya go. I've said before that I don't do fine details, overly hyperbolic cinema speak, or pretentious language, so I'll do my best to just give a broad range of reasons why this movie ate dick so hard. The acting was bad, the character development was piss poor (I don't ask for much, but at LEAST give me SOME idea why people are who they are.....what purpose do they serve? So simple), and the writing just seems so disconnected. Like, the writer had a great idea in his head, but then it was put on paper and ended up like a fucking soup sandwich. I guess that's why there was so much nudity? Total dude move. "Oh man...this movie is gonna be such a shitshow...I better add in gratuitous (albeit gross) titties and 'gina."
The only rational explanation why this movie sucked so bad and in so many ways is that it possibly took place in Ohio. Or maybe the actors are all from Ohio. Somehow Ohio has to be related.
Given that this movie MUST have taken place in Cleveland, I can't even give it a cleaver rating. I think it fucking owes ME a cleaver....into my ballsack. If I imagine, just for a MOMENT, that the movie is Canadian, I can give it 1 cleaver with a side of poutine. Why, you ask? Well, at least Canada gave us the fuckin' Ginger Snaps Trilogy.
You don't need to see this movie. I mean, you CAN, but I don't want to hear any smack talk if you do. You were warned.
Oh, here's the link to the movie info!